Friday, April 4, 2014

Secrets

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Two days earlier...

He's going into hospital and he's told me not to worry. I'm relieved - this is what the doctors have been saying he needs for weeks now.  He asks me to bring him his long life charger pack because his phone is flat.

I have my little girl Lilli with a friend on a lunch play-date so it's difficult timing. I manage to get the friend picked up and I run home with Lilli to find the charger and take it to the medical center before they transfer him.

When I get home I cant find it anywhere in the bedroom. I look through his bag he takes to and from work. It has floppy pockets and dividers all through so I remove a few things while I grope through it.

Out of a folder comes some papers. There's a 'Deed of Termination' from his employer. Another is other is a letter from a family law firm talking about an appointment arranged during the previous week, to discuss "ongoing parental care for his daughter.."

What the F^ck?

I still cant find the charger so I leave the papers and pull his regular charger from the wall and pack Lilli back in the car.  I'm trembling as I drive.

Now he doesn't want Lilli to see him, so I am forced to leave her in the parking lot. Fortunately it's just up one escalator and I can actually see our car from the door of the medical practice. I buzz and the receptionist opens and takes the charger, then I run back down the escalator as two ambulance people head up with a stretcher.

My head is spinning, I still have the shakes and as I click the locks on our car and I spot our other car parked in the lot. I tell Lilli to sit tight while I move the other car to the street. I don't have a ticket so I buzz the attendant and explain; it only takes two minutes to get a park opposite and I sprint back to my baby girl who is busy making elastic bracelets in her booster seat.

When we're home, I send her upstairs to play while I investigate the papers I found. I just stare at them in disbelief. I also noticed earlier a little green gingham printed envelope that was Lilli's - given to her by her best school friend - so I take that out and look inside.  There are receipts.
I think please God, don't let him have bought anymore paintings or laptops. They are all restaurant and cab receipts lunches and dinners from in the city center, covering all three days he was supposed to be out of state on urgent business.

Sh!t.

I wonder what else there is I don't know about. I wonder if he's working on a custody suit. My heart feels like it's going to jump right out of my chest and my pulse is banging in my ears like a timpani.  I don't think twice as I go into his email account...

All the while I'm navigating this alternate universe, I'm wondering what happened? How did I get into this mess? How could I have avoided it? Where is my best friend who just weeks ago told everyone who would listen, how much he loved me and felt lucky to be married to such a wonderful woman.

He's become so devious, so cunning and calculating. This IS NOT the man I married.

Sh!t

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