Saturday, June 14, 2014


I thought I had seen as much bizarre behavior as I could in dealing with this new stranger that I am married to.

Until he gate-crashed our 'girls night out' at the Sushi Train again.
I don’t know why He wanted to come - He spent most of the time on his phone absorbed in a WhatsApp conversation while Lilli pulled and tugged at him trying to get his attention. 

After inhaling five plates, suddenly without a word, he left to go outside. He was gone long enough for the waitress to almost give his seat away. When he came back in I was speaking to a father and his daughter next to us - the man had just asked me if it was always so busy at this time.

Scowling in my direction his mood got perceptibly darker.  His phone came out again and this time I slipped on my glasses and hugging Lilli I looked over her shoulder at his screen. He was messaging a woman – her photo on screen showing long dark hair – Lilli continued trying to drag his attention away. 

We were done in another twenty minutes. As we were leaving the restaurant, finally he pocketed his phone and turned his attention to Lilli asking her for a kiss.  Lilli told him she'd run out of kisses. 

He walked down the street, not saying a word to either of us, keeping his distance from both of us. As he pressed the button for the lights he pulled his sleeve back and checked his watch.

He took the driver’s seat and as I sat in the car I said to him lightly – “you’re a real chatterbox tonight”. 
I received a grunt in reply.. 
As we were pulling out of the street we’d parked in I noticed the moon was enormous and quite orange and I pointed this out to Lilli. 
She got really excited, craning her little neck, but she could see it. I asked him to reverse a little so to give her a better view. 

She still couldn’t see it. I was just about to suggest we drive a bit the other way so she could take a look and he said “ well you can’t see it’ and floored the car cutting off an oncoming vehicle. 

The tires squealed and our car fish-tailed towards an orange traffic light. He planted his foot on the accelerator sending us speeding through a now red light cutting across a double white line in the process.

Holding onto the dashboard for support, I asked him if he was in a hurry to get somewhere, and he said curtly “no”. 

I thought again about his checking his watch. 
He said; “I’m not feeling very well. “It’s nothing either of you have done.” “ I had a nap earlier and I woke up feeling a bit rough. I’m going to go straight home and lay down.” 

He left us out front of the house, not even waiting till we had the door open.

All things considered I didn’t believe the going home to lay down story for one minute. We've heard the "daddy's not feeling very well/ is very tired, I have to go now.." bit too many times.

I will check the bank statements in a few days.*

It was still early for Lilli's bed time.  I asked her if she would like to put her coat and boots over her pajamas and go out to find the moon again.  I made her a deal she had to take her tooth brush and scrub her teeth all the way in the car and this would be a trade instead of a bed-time story.

Her little face lit up and she hugged me tight; "You are the bestest mummy!"

I packed both the bouncing excited girl and bouncing excited dog into the car.

We found the moon and we followed it by road ending up at a local bay.
It was just incredible the moon light cast a great sliver blanket over the water, cutting through the reflected city lights.
She ran down the peer with the dog at her heels whooping and shrieking. She called back to me over and over; “This is the best night of my life, mummy!”

I laughed calling to her; 'What kind of mummy lets her little girl run around a park at night in her pajamas?'

"You do!" She shouted back, giggling.

What a wonderful unexpected moment. A memory we both will treasure (not sure about the dog - he takes this stuff very much in his stride). 

As we drove home Lilli chattered excitedly all the way about our adventure - chasing the most glorious golden moon. 

I drove along wondering if whatever he had to rush off for could compare with this. 

I sincerely doubt it. 

As I loaded the film and photos onto Face Book for the family to see, I wondered what his reaction would be.  But in a few minutes I realized I didnt need to worry - when I discovered he's 'un-friended' me!  

I was floored; His behavior just gets more and more bizarre. 

Very recently he looked at me that way Lilli looked at the moon tonight. He's lost that love now and I'm afraid he's loosing hers too. 

It's incredibly sad that he's so lost himself, that he can't see what's happening. That all the wonderful parts of his life, that were so important to him and brought him so much joy, are slipping beyond his reach.

But what can you do?

*On checking the bank statements it turns out that not feeling well didn't stop him going out to a bar then for a late supper at one of the city's most expemsive restaurants; all in, just under $900.  Well he did spend about $60 on his family first.


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