Thursday, November 6, 2014

Return of the Jedi




I would hardly describe him as a Jedi knight, but he has returned somewhat removed from The Dark Side.

His first agenda was to sit me down and tell me he was sorry.

Sorry for the lies (thought he didn’t go into specifics), sorry for the way he’s treated me - he mentioned ripping me to shreds in public places), the crazy over-spending, the poor choices, the people he’d hung out with...(slept with??)

Elton John said it; Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word and the one thing he could never fake, even in his best performances, was taking responsibility and showing remorse. There were no tears on this occasion and he didn’t beg my forgiveness, but he seems to have come a long way in recognizing what he/ his illness has done to us and our family.

In the couple of few weeks since, he's not been glued to his iPhone constantly messaging, he says no to coffee (unless its decaf) and alcohol.

When we've had to take Lilly somewhere together he's let me drive!! Doesn’t sound much but the fuss he made over the last 6 months about my driving, you'd think I'd been the one who'd sent the car to the panel beaters half a dozen times. At one stage we were down a vehicle and he left me the keys to his precious coupe insisting it would be a breeze for me to drive.

He's been helpful and supportive, doing more school runs, even coming over to walk the dog when I was on a deadline. Friends who’ve bumped into him have commented on how much more Zen he seems. I have to say this is making life so much less painful.

But.

He’s still hiding stuff.

Like the date he had with Angela the Saturday night before he flew back here. He lied quite elaborately and convincingly about his not being able to speak to Lilly that particular night because he was having dinner with his buddy Edward. 

Except that Edward had emailed me two days before mentioning they’d had dinner on the Thursday night.  I told Edward to enjoy their next dinner on Saturday and he replied, including a couple of expletives, that ‘someone’s’ daughter who hadn’t seen daddy in two months shouldn’t have to line up behind his new girlfriend for a call.

Indeed.

Edward and I never intended to get too specific about how much we knew and didn’t know about the situation, but plenty has leaked through as we’ve exchanged news while He was in hospital. 
Edward told me The Girlfriend had contacted him during this time and he was shocked and a little taken aback; he’d never heard of her or knew she existed. Edward didn't know how she knew to contact him and how, but I do it's all there in black and white a description of his best friends, who one day she'll meet and also his boring uncultured wife, (more on that later). So Angela looked Edward up on Face Book. (That works two ways honey.)

I asked Lilly’s father when he returned how his dinner with his old friend had gone and  he told me it was just Edward and himself because Edward’s wife had to stay home with their boys in the end when they couldn’t get a sitter. He said it was great to catch up, blah blah blah.

Still so good at lying. 

As far  as my investigations and cyber-stalking can ascertain; there's no reason for me to believe he and Angela are finished. He tells me the job market here is so flat he will have to work in London for a while. Maybe he will, and maybe he wouldn't; if it weren't for a certain married woman with two children, a husband and a good set of loose morals.



And that is the reason why I’m watching my back like the Devil is after me. 
I'm using any and all means necessary, ethical or not, to ferret out the truth about this situation. This is my life and Lilly's and I am damned if wont keep my baby and myself from any further or worse harm.

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