"You must think I'm a piece of bread that needs to be buttered
Anthony Hopkins - Thor: The Dark World
I invited some friends of ours to stay for Christmas. His friend Edward unexpectedly arrived on a business trip - a deal that would take right up until Christmas week to complete. To me it was a no-brainer to invite him and his family to stay at the house and share Christmas with us.
With Lilly's father due back mid-December I thought it might create a sort of buffer having a houseful of company.
And so he returned again from his job hunt in London (and hook-up with the GF), full of charm and smiles. He'd been heavily prepping me before his return: lots of I miss yous, lots of compliments and charm - thickly buttering me like a fresh baguette.
So I checked his sly-bank account , while he was in the air, and saw the many trips out to see her. The fare is familiar to me now and it's easy enough to google the hotel locations.
It was a good idea to have our friends staying (especially supportive friends who know), they were easy company and Lilly clearly enjoyed having a full-house with kids to play with.
He was very charming when he arrived each day, he kept it up for two weeks then one night he was clearly upset and wanted to talk to me alone.
He used my iPad and discovered I've been on an Online Dating site. He was upset, jealous and remains afraid I'll meet someone - ha.
Incidentally my second date with the charming witty besotted man turned into the Spanish Inquisition. He grilled me like a potential employer who was certain of discrepancies on my CV.
I haven't heard from him since, as expected.
Now we know why he's never been engaged or married at 49.
I gave him the benefit of the doubt but my mum's always right with the old: "what’s wrong with him?"; No serious commitments by that age is a red flag to be sure.
It wouldn’t be the first time a guy trashed a potential 'us' because he thought I was too good to be true; although you expect men to know/ behave better by that age. His loss and my gain considering I've had enough emotional fuckwittage for this lifetime - I have no wish to sign on for any more
Anyway I'm not sure how the Brilliant Career story will pan out- it's interesting.
The balance of power has changed but my ex-husband is still carrying the old traits I've discovered through all of this.
The arrogance, stubbornness, positioning himself as culturally and intellectually superior. And still exerting subtle coercion - but I'm onto him now and calling him out on all of it - in front of his friends and during our many, lengthy, heavy discussions. In light of his lacking it, I'm dishing out generous helpings of brutal honesty.
One night he left early because his friends voted most enthusiastically to watch Thor with me - so he left after making several disdainful comments about my cinematic tastes.
Turns out His friend Edward is a big fan of Iron Man, and here he's still reeling from the discovery that another of his 'intellectual friends' is a sci-fi nut.
It's all very interesting and educational.
The upshot of Christmas time is that he wants answers from me now - can I consider taking him back? (potentially because of course he's still secretly engaged). And I see he's still wearing Her Ring.
Well I'm sorry, but the jury's still out and the prosecution has made a very strong case.