Sunday, July 5, 2015

Staying Put


Well it's been a while but for good reasons - I guess I've needed less therapy.

During the last two months we took a quasi-family trip to London. It was weird being back where our relationship began. London has always been 'our town' full of our first few years together. Those heady, romance filled, can't- keep-your-hands-off-each-other early years.

So shacked up in a one bedroom apartment with him on the sofa and Lilly and I sharing the bedroom, I was feeling quite confronted and depressed to begin with.

I saw London town with new eyes and I realised I'm never going back to live there - not for anyone. 
There are more taxi's than trees. it's busy noisy, sooty, and tube travel isn't all that fun anymore dragging a small child along in your wake (especially in a down pour).

I went out one night with my old flatmate and we had a nice night doing what we used to do: drinks, dinner and girl talk at a pub with an outdoor terrace. I turned a few heads along the way and that felt good, but after a while, the leering guys with pints in their hands got on my nerves and I decided, I'd had enough of that years ago - B.C. (before child).

I couldn't see myself living that life as a single mother to give child access to my ex.  It was an odd revelation seeing as how the weather in London was glorious and we returned home, just Lilly and me, to the most appalling weeks of storms.  I'd also hurt my neck, sleeping in an upright position on the plane, and spent my first four days with a migraine, so you'd think I would look fondly on the holiday.  Nope.

We live in a wonderful place, we can drive places, or take ferries, or walk. We live close to beaches, the city centre, shopping, cafes, many parks. What more could you ask for? Certainly not a 2-bed flat the size of our downstairs (if we could afford that) that costs way more than our house for an equivalent location - going mad tripping over ourselves during the long winter months, stuck indoors.

To cut a long story, involving more stress and agonising short - He's found a job here in a different industry that can take him in a better direction professionally and I''m happy for him. I'm also happy for Lilly who's been enjoying being reunited with 'Happy Daddy' and quite frankly it takes a load off; having someone to share that load.

We still haven't effected a visitation routine; he's here every day and evening at the moment - but we talked about it several times and decided to address that after he starts work in his new job.

So it's all good here. It's kind of weird doing family dinners every night (and while Lilly's on school break family lunches too) then it's a peck on the cheek and an "ok see you tomorrow'... but I guess it takes time to fashion a 'new normal' and that can't really happen until we're both working.


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