What an odd week.
I have case notes to write now for an interview with a Family Dispute and Parenting official in response to his accusations that 'I'm denying him all access' God he's like a broken record.
I need to cover: his mental instability, the Bi-Polar and manic episodes; how it changes his ability to effectively parent and increases the emotional and physical risks for Lily.
I need to demonstrate the adverse emotional effects on Lily; her not wanting to stay alone with him in his flat [except when he bribed her], her ongoing therapy trying to deal with his dramatically changed personality and temperament.
But it is also school break and she needs me to be truly present and engaged with her and not let the poison he leaks in to our lives, taint our time together.
So in between reading through two years of my own awful notes, collating pertinent and very ugly details from our recent history, I'll be sitting cross legged with my little girl on her bedroom floor with a pile of barbie dolls and each of us armed with a small hair brush.
Then it's more time on the laptop, more hideous memories to dissect and categorize, timelines to construct...followed by making fairy bread, the sprinkles stuck together in the shaker so I give it a vigorous shake not noticing the lid is open.
This ongoing dark unpleasantness, punctuated with magic little domestic moments like spilling sprinkles all down my top and getting them stuck in my bra, much to my daughters very obvious delight and amusement. Mine too, I have to admit, she has the most infectious laugh.
I had a call from a kind of friend/ ex-colleague - a man with a soul, in the midst of my reviewing some particularity awful stuff.
Never a good time for someone to ask me 'how's life?' when I'm vulnerable with my guard down, immersed in damage control.
We chatted without me really going into detail - he doesn't know my story but I suspect he guesses something awful happened. He sent me a funny cartoon on my phone later that afternoon.
And its kind of bang -on in this the situation; mouse caught in a trap making a work-out of escaping..
The brief period we worked together, I always had a feeling he was quite intuitive and terribly kind.