Thursday, June 2, 2016

Nice




"One thing is certain with narcissists; when you separate from them, and still have legal, property or custody to sort out …
They will pathologically lie.        
As such, you can expect fabricated stories, twisted facts and downright dirty tactics.
The narcissist is very capable of telling solicitors, police and courthouses exactly whatever lies he or she wants to, in order to try to punish you, get the upper hand and win, project blame, create smear campaigns, play the victim as if he or she has been vilified (especially when things aren’t going well for him or her), and of course disregard any personal accountability for his or her unacceptable behaviour." Melanie Tonia Evans.


Talk about projecting.

He says I am fighting for full custody of Lily to get a bigger settlement. And according to his lawyers looong letter I am the one with a history of mental health issues.

I haven't read it. I asked my lawyer if there was anything I needed to know and her comment was, it's a lot of mud slinging and noise.  

I told my lovely lawyer (yes some lawyers are lovely) this isn't the first time he's lied about my being mentally ill. 
But being manic his lack of impulse control and insight, meant it was poorly executed.


In 2014 he cunningly tried to set up a trail of evidence and corroborating witnesses that I was suicidal.  
He began by calling an ambulance to the house telling the emergency services I was self-harming. 

I had actually nicked my finger on a cake-knife trying clearing up after dinner during one of  his crazy one-sided rants.

The ambulance officers checked my 'wound' (under a band-aid); it was no bigger than a paper cut. 

Then one of the medics took me aside said he understood what was going on.
He asked me quietly if Claude had mental health issues. I told him he’d been diagnosed with severe clinical depression (as was the case at that point) and the medic gave me a tight-lipped nod. 

They told us they wouldn't make a report, there was no need and that way we wouldn't incur costs. 
But Claude became quite agitated, red in the face and argued the point insisting on having a 'written report'.

So he got his report, costing us over $300, and it just said that I had nicked myself on a knife at the kitchen sink; a tiny cut that only needed a band aid. It said I did not present as a person in distress or self-harming and that I appeared calm, in control and well-groomed. It said our home was also in a very clean and tidy order. 

Good housekeeping equals sanity apparently – tidy home tidy mind I guess.

The real kicker was the next morning while I was taking Lily to school: he called my sister and told her I was deeply depressed and, he feared, suicidal. 

He told her he'd had to call an ambulance to the house after I had deliberately cut myself and he didn't want to leave me alone because he was afraid of what else I might do.  He told my poor sister he would be worried sick until I returned home safe.

Sheesh – the school run can be crazy but I never heard of anyone offing themselves because they got there after the bell. 

Anyway for all his agonizing, and breathlessly waiting on my safe arrival home, after he finished his academy award winning performance with my sister he apparently went to the local phone shop to talk about changing his mobile plan.  Overcharging on his phone account clearly overrides a potentially suicidal wife.

Claude gave no indication when I'd left with Lily that anything was wrong (he was always a bit better in the mornings) so I was surprised when my sister called back and told me what had happened. She said he'd been very convincing - done such a superb acting job, he had almost convinced her.
Almost. 

She and her husband started to worry over what Claude might have to gain in starting stories, and a trail of evidence, that I was suicidal...  They didn't tell me at the time, but on their next visit my brother-in law changed security door lock.

I kept the ambulance report in my police file, which is now missing from my desk.  As Claude went through my office (and a box under my bed!) a few months back, (said he was looking for the missing Apple TV remote) I suspect he may have taken them. 

I have a lot of papers hidden but the envelope full of police files, affidavits that ambulance report etc. weren’t as well concealed and are all missing.
Anyway - food for thought.
 
But in recent times he has brought up my mental health again and again.  He told me that 'an independent third party' (he no doubt met on Tinder?) was of the opinion that I was suffering from severe anxiety and depression.  Has this person even met me?

Now it's in a letter from his lawyer.  
And you know what? I say bring it on. I will happily volunteer for a psych evaluation if he will. 

“Your whole sense of moving on and forward may be pulled into the narcissistic muck – the pathological “stink,” – because your emotions feel so polluted by the unfathomable lies and acts that this person creates.

 What Else Would You Expect?

You know you have been subjected to the ridiculous conversations where the narcissist refused to remain topical, refused to answer questions, and would bring in absurd examples and allies to thrust down your throat with all the logic of an angry five-year-old.” Melanie Tonia Evans
 

NICE.

Not satisfied to rage through Lily's and my life like a wrecking ball, until both of us have needed psychological assistance.  

He makes that a necessity in our lives to cope with the fall-out of his his horrible aggressive and yes, violent, behaviour then uses that need for help  as a means to do further harm?

Nice, Claude

Don't expect any more empathy from me or "you couldn't help it you were ill" alibis. You've had too many of those 'get-out-of-jail-free cards already and what good have they done you?

Or me.
Or our little Lily Pad




image credit: Engin Korkmaz (Follow)
 
One thing is certain with narcissists; when you separate from them, and still have legal, property or custody to sort out …
They will pathologically lie.
As such, you can expect fabricated stories, twisted facts and downright dirty tactics.
The narcissist is very capable of telling solicitors, police and courthouses exactly whatever lies he or she wants to, in order to try to punish you, get the upper hand and win, project blame, create smear campaigns, play the victim as if he or she has been vilified (especially when things aren’t going well for him or her), and of course disregard any personal accountability for his or her unacceptable behaviour.
- See more at: http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/overcome-pathological-lies-narcissist-win-divorce-settlement-and-custody-battles/#comments
One thing is certain with narcissists; when you separate from them, and still have legal, property or custody to sort out …
They will pathologically lie.
As such, you can expect fabricated stories, twisted facts and downright dirty tactics.
The narcissist is very capable of telling solicitors, police and courthouses exactly whatever lies he or she wants to, in order to try to punish you, get the upper hand and win, project blame, create smear campaigns, play the victim as if he or she has been vilified (especially when things aren’t going well for him or her), and of course disregard any personal accountability for his or her unacceptable behaviour.
- See more at: http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/overcome-pathological-lies-narcissist-win-divorce-settlement-and-custody-battles/#comments

2 comments:

  1. Yep, he knows he screwed up big and is on top level offensive mode. That said he obviously feels he can withstand a psyche eval with someone Unknown cause he has to know with his mental health history that's where it is going to end one way or the other.

    On the plus side he's been so relentless that you haven't lost contact with your psych support so you seem like you would have a very credible thrd party witness as to your mental state over time.

    Best wishes belinda

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  2. Shocked at how he has been behaving for so long!! Incredibly destructive behaviour that is so unnecessary, evil and unfair. At least you now know about NPD and have information to help understand it and it's consequences. I hope it doesn't get any worse, and that you have some wins. Surely it will be obvious who has their sanity intact and the best interests of Lily at heart and in mind.

    S x

    ReplyDelete